2nd_chance_now

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 20:33:02 GMT

I feel as though this rehabilitation period has done me some good, along with the trouble it has caused. I wonder who I'd have to speak without about family visitation.

It seems my father has decided I need to meet his fiance.

I'm not entirely thrilled to be honest. I guess I kept hoping that he and my mother could work things out.

But yeah- gotta look into that.

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 16:43:20 GMT

So my father wants to fly all the way out here and visit me for a weekend with his girlfriend.

Who would I have to talk to about seeing about leaving for a few days? Although, this is not a summer camp or any such thing, so I'm not even sure if they allow that...it might just be a supervised visit.

Otherwise, things are going pretty well. ^_^

Mon, 19 May 2008 03:38:53 GMT

Lame weekend.

Doctors figured out what I gotta do to get better though...so that's nice.

Apparently years of abusing certain things lead to some fun imbalances. Anti-depressants (haha- do I seem depressed? I didn't think so) and Methadone. At least I got to talk to mom on the phone a while. Dad's dating again. That's ...yeah, I'm not sure what to think about that.

Atobe- can I get Ai back from you tonight? I miss her.

SHUT UP!

Wed, 14 May 2008 21:26:38 GMT

I don't wanna go.
~~Who is screaming like that under my bed at night? I thought there weren't any girls allowed in the room...~~

(Ooc:Strikes deleted. He's still a little off in his cute little head)

Sun, 11 May 2008 00:47:45 GMT

I think my brain is oozing out of my ears. Seriously- that was not a good time for a panic attack. Sorry if I spazzed out on anyone.

Edit: 私は私が私の病院の訪問までのこれらの新しい丸薬を、一日に三回取らなければならないことを推測する。私はそれらを、それら少しを感じさせる私にブランク好まない。しかしそれは、私考える助けている。とにかく。

~~Wakashi~~ I'll be sleeping in the infirmary just tonight. I will be gone for a day or so in a week too.

Mr. Itsuki, Miss Fuji sent you a note...I Was wondering if you would be able to still go with me to Roswell General. If not, it's okay- I'm just a little nervous.

私は病院を憎む。

(ooc: Translations: I guess I have to take these new pills, three times a day until my hospital visit. I don't like them, they make me feel a little blank. But it's helping, I think. Anyway...

I hate hospitals.)

Tue, 06 May 2008 21:42:18 GMT

I want to make something with clay...I should see about doing that. ^_^

Maybe they'll let me just take a little back to the room so I can work on it before lights out.

Fri, 02 May 2008 21:06:12 GMT

Going to be an interesting weekend.

Tomorrow we go to the AIDs clinic as punishment. I'm concerned they might have problems with me since I have all thse cuts on my arms. I guess I should ask when I get there. Yeah-

AIDS stands for acquired immunodeficiency syndrome. AIDS is the final stage of HIV infection. It can take years for a person infected with HIV, even without treatment, to reach this stage. Having AIDS means that the virus has weakened the immune system to the point at which the body has a difficult time fighting infections. When someone has one or more of these infections and a low number of T cells, he or she has AIDS.

HIV is primarily found in the blood, semen, or vaginal fluid of an infected person. HIV is transmitted in 3 main ways:

Having sex (anal, vaginal, or oral) with someone infected with HIV
Sharing needles and syringes with someone infected with HIV
Being exposed (fetus or infant) to HIV before or during birth or through breast feeding

Do not inject illicit drugs (drugs not prescribed by your doctor). You can get HIV through needles, syringes, and other works if they are contaminated with the blood of someone who has HIV. Drugs also cloud your mind, which may result in riskier sex.
If you do inject drugs, do the following:
Use only clean needles, syringes, and other works.
Never share needles, syringes, or other works.
Be careful not to expose yourself to another person's blood.
Get tested for HIV test at least once a year.
Consider getting counseling and treatment for your drug use.
Get vaccinated against hepatitis A and B viruses.

The following may be warning signs of advanced HIV infection:

rapid weight loss
~~dry cough~~
recurring fever or profuse night sweats
profound and unexplained fatigue
swollen lymph glands in the armpits, groin, or neck
diarrhea that lasts for more than a week
white spots or unusual blemishes on the tongue, in the mouth, or in the throat
pneumonia
red, brown, pink, or purplish blotches on or under the skin or inside the mouth, nose, or eyelids
memory loss, depression, and other neurological disorders

...okay that part sucks. It sounds a lot like withdrawals. I'm just happy I got tested and was fine. Still.

013

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 14:12:29 GMT

I think I'm over another bad spot. ^_^

Edit: It looks like I put on about 3 pounds since I got here. ^_^

012

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 21:27:18 GMT

My jacket is ruined...

It's covered in paint splotches all over...

I can't believe I forgot it in study hall when I left for chores-
I came back and it was ruined...now I know how Dan feels- this is totally lame.

At least I had my hoodie with me. But still- I hope I don't get in trouble for having messy clothes.

Hope you are feeling better guy from the stables. Sorry I had to be mean to you. ^_^ And not remembering you at first. I think I remember when I met you the first time, your name was Moshimoro or something, wasn't it?

~~Hope this bitemark fades from Wakashi before I check back in the the nurse for my withdrawals...I don't want us getting in trouble.~~

(ooc: Strikes were supposed to be deleted- just strikes due to error- but now they are...but anyone who wanted to see it before they were deleted- enjoy!)

011

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 04:07:50 GMT

We did it! Hiyoshi and I made love! Granted the bathroom wouldn't have been my first place to consider this for a first time with someone I actually care about- but still! It was great! I thought for sure it would be one of those things where he liked it and I just had to pretend to keep him happy too since it would be fair since I'm that happy just kissing him and sleeping near him. But I loved it! I'm so happy!

Welcome back to the dorms, Hiyoshi-kun. ^_^

(ooc: Strikes were typed and immediatly deleted XD)

email: Chou'smom@hotmail.com/jp

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 14:58:12 GMT

Hello Mom,

I found out that I could e-mail you, and I felt guilty for not calling since I arrived at the school. I was hoping to wait and settle in. Time and again I have been told to just call you. I felt I had done enough damage and you probably needed a break.

I know it does not mean much right now- but I am sorry for it all.
I am sorry I lied to you and Dad. I am sorry that an innocent woman was killed because I was too stupid to say no to my friends.

I think I am doing pretty well here. I am attending classes, but did miss a few sessions while I was a little under the weather. Don't worry. That's normal, Mom. I made myself really sick, so now I am working hard at getting better.

I got a job at the school- I'm the Altar boy at the chapel. I just got back from Church a little bit ago. I also work on the stables, cleaning up horse stalls. It's a little gross and hard, and I think one of those horses is seriously trying to kill me. I think he might be a demon.

I'm also learning to play the violin. I don't think I'm very good yet. But it helps. Maybe when I get better and get to come home I will be better at it and can play for you.

I'm about out of time. I just wanted to let you know I miss you and Dad both. I love you guys, and not to worry. I am making friends here and doing the best I can to keep things together. I'll get home as soon as I can!

Sincerely,

Ohtori Choutarou

(ooc: He took Sakaki's advice and emailed his Mom. I'm sure the staff probably gets to read and approve sent emails- but hopefully students can't. It is in Japanese- I'm just too lazy to deal with that this weekend.)

010

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 14:27:26 GMT

O_O

I'm up! I'm up! Slept in! Gotta rush, I have mass!

009

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 03:27:07 GMT

I would like very much to stop with the fever, the throwing up, and this whole messed up head thing. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

I guess I should say that it helps having someone in the same boat, but it makes me feel worse knowing other people here are feeling this bad too. At least the company is nice...but I think I should like to get back to my own bed-

I sort of talked to Hiyoshi...so that's good.

I still need to call my mom. I miss her so much.

I think I might see about going back to the dorm tonight.

008

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 14:33:36 GMT

I think it is all in my head. It should be all in my head. I can handle this. I think I can handle this. At least I managed to get some counceling last night so I didn't have to bug Miss Fuji- she works too hard.

If it's all in my head why do I still feel like hell? Maybe I should go to the church. I like the church. It is peaceful there. I'm sorry I ignored you yesterday Hiyoshi- I was not feeling so great. I'm really sorry.

I swear I'll try my best not to mess up any more. I just had a little bit of a bad end to my first week, I ran out of mental and emotional steam. I think I can continue on and succeed.

[screened from classmates]
I know I should actually be studying for study hall...and I guess I sort of am. I was just worried about what Mr. Akutsu said about his cellmate- so I started wondering if I am depressed. I can't tell if I'm depressed because of all these stupid little problems I got myself into- or if it's a withdrawal thing- so I did some studying on that.

The craving and depression can last for months following cessation of long-term heavy use(particularly daily). Withdrawal symptoms can also be associated with suicidal thoughts in some people.

Presently there are no effective medications for reducing craving, though some are being tested. Some studies have reported that medications such as amantadine and bromocriptine may help to reduce patient's craving, increase energy, and normalize sleep, particularly among those with the most serious problems.

The length of cocaine Withdrawal varies from person to person and on the amount and frequency of use.

agitation
depression
intense craving for the drug
extreme fatigue
anxiety
angry outbursts
lack of motivation
nausea/vomiting
shaking
irritability
muscle pain
disturbed sleep

Miss Fuji? I think I might be getting the flu a little. If it gets much worse can I get something for it?

007

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 14:34:28 GMT

~~Everything hurts and that Black Horse is evil...seriously...I didn't think horses were predators. Then it chased me for a good 30 minutes.~~ But the stables are looking pretty good and Syuusuke is a pretty nice guy. Mr. Sakaki is probably right- I just have to keep busy.

Though- I might still take Mizuki's advice. It can't hurt things any more then they already are.

(ooc: Strikes deleted...he does not want to whine. XD)

006

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 23:04:03 GMT

私は私言われるであることにもかかわらず負わない謝罪を、私おそらく仮定する。公正なIつに…これの前にそのような悩みがあると期待しなかった。私は私がそういう風に大いによりよくしていた自分自身におそらく保つべきである。それは新しい友人をここに作ることは大きかったしかし私は安全距離で皆家族を常に保つことを覚えるべきである。

Are horses really dangerous?

((ooc: Translation:
I suppose in spite of being told I don't owe apologies, I probably do. I just...had not expected to have such troubles before this. I should have probably kept to myself- I was doing much better that way. It was great to make new friends here- but I should remember to always keep everyone but family at a safe distance.))

005

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:07:48 GMT

Well- maybe things are turning around again. If they keep turning I might get motion sick. ^_^
But at least this is a good thing, I think. It's something new that I've never dealt with before, but I really think it's all going to be alright. ^__^

Another day to go, GAMBATTE!

004

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 21:30:20 GMT

My roots are starting to show...this isn't good.

私はとても下肢が不自由である。私は私がバイオリンのひもの私の手を切ると信じることができない。それはまだ刺す。私はちょうど嬉しいInui私を我慢するには十分に素晴らしいである。いたる所に興味深い人々がある。私はまだそのうちのいくつかを時々理解しない。私はちょうど事が解決することを望む。私はそれらが私が銀に戻って私の毛を染めることを可能にするかどうか疑問に思う。それは全体にわたって突き出る黒い根と不可解に見る。

(ooc: Translation: I am so lame. I can not believe I cut my hand on a violin string. It still stings. I'm just glad Inui is nice enough to put up with me. There are interesting people all over the place. I still don't understand some of them at times. I just hope things work out. I wonder if they will let me dye my hair back to silver. It looks weird with the black roots sticking out all over.)

003

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 14:39:04 GMT

I actually slept pretty good last night. Still in my day clothes, but considering the circumstances, I think I can let it slip this once. I'm really looking forward to practice again. I do have one concern though. I do not need sex ed...seriously. I mean- I am literally a professional. I could probably teach the teacher things about it from experience. So it seems silly to need to take it here too. I did go to school and learn it already, plus I got a reminder crash course from the hospital staff after the accident. Granted that was very embarassing.

Oh, thank you Inui-san. Nice to meet you Mizuki-san. ^_^

Everyone have a wonderful Sunday! Hope to see you at mass! God bless! <3

002

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 07:57:44 GMT

私は眠る必要がある私は眠ることができない。私はどうしても心地よくなることができないし、別の毛布を必要とし、それから熱い… を得る。私は助けられる丸薬を考える。私は知らない。これは私に完全に新しい。私はAiをすることができないまたはに試みなさい。彼女は皆を目覚めさせるかもしれないし、虫は。もどって来る。...

((ooc: Translation:
I need to sleep but I can not sleep. I just can not get comfy and I need another blanket and then it gets hot...ugh. I think the pills helped. I do not know. This is all new to me. I can't play Ai, or try to. She might wake everyone up and the bugs are back...

[he is just having a bad night] ))

Entry 001

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 01:23:35 GMT

Well- I guess this is the first day of the rest of my life. It's scary, but pretty exciting too....

I mean, the court councelor was right, I do have a lot of problems and a lot of healing to do. But this is looking like the right place to do it. It wasn't fair what I put my parents through- they have enough to deal with what with my sister passing away...so I'm going to be a good person from now on!

Apparently I've even already got chores assigned. An altar boy! It shouldn't be too difficult, I went to a few masses with that nice lady from the court too, and really- I think God can help me and lead me to a better life. And all these jitters and the upset stomach will calm down, they said that it takes some time, I'll just pray double.

So- here goes nothing and here comes everything!